I am taking the day off! and it is your fault!
Are you an adult?
Lol.
Some people react negatively to this word “adult” “Adults have no fun,” they say. Some react positively saying, “Why can’t we all just be responsible adults?”
I have been pondering this. For me, I take on too much responsibility and often forget to play. I used to judge those who did play easily saying they were irresponsible. But really they were just doing what I judged myself if I did, play.
These days I watch with fascination my friends who play easily. Knowing that they have something I still need to cultivate.
Mixed in this dynamic is also the polarity between victim and responsibility. In this case though, healthy individuals are able to lean away from victim stories in general. In the victim space, I blame others for what happens in my life. Here too, though, it is possible to take too much responsibility and not recognize our own pain.
Lately, I have been pondering these two dynamics and how they weave around each other. It can be confusing whether I am being too responsible and forgetting to play and enjoy life or just being a balanced human being. It is also easy for the “non-victim” inside of me to suck the joy from life - haha. Meaning I am trying too hard to not play the victim that I “suck it up” and loose my emotions. The “high road” can be very dry and dusty.
Being human is an intricate dance. The answer is not a general rule.
I’ve discovered that I need the diversity inside to be able to occupy all spaces. Sometimes it is therapeutic for me to “whine” for a while. (Although my partner may not agree - haha). Sometimes it is therapeutic for me to scream and blame someone else. Often it is therapeutic for me to throw out the blasted “to do list” and just play all day. And yet sometimes it is so rewarding to finish a long day of work. It can also be both sobering and relieving to recognize my part in creating the more challenging parts of my life.
Basically we are being called to be “all men/women.” We are being called to have the fluidity to flow from one emotional position to another. We get in trouble when we cannot flow.
Blaming isn’t a place to sit for long time and neither is righteousness. Working all day every day isn’t really noble it’s likely self-punishment or martyrdom. Not fulfilling your responsibilities long term is immature and burdens others. We cannot sit anywhere for too long or we gather dust.
The trick is to figure out which way you have been leaning - and lean the other way!
Blaming others won’t get me too far but occasionally throwing a plate can feel damn good!
And btw, I’m taking the week off!!
(And it’s your fault!)
