How Shall We Dance, Life?

How shall we dance, life?

When I was newly on my own in the world, in my early twenties, I gripped life with both hands and moved it cautiously around the dance floor.

When I was a new mom, in my early thirties, I let life throw me around the dance floor like a wet noodle.  When life surprised me with a third child, I ground my foot in resentment and said “whatever” (with eyeroll) abdicating any responsibility. 

Neither of these are actually “dancing.”

In my forties, I stepped back into a dance with life, but still keeping some control making sure we never strayed too far from my familiar corner of the dance floor.

In my fifties, I awoke to the smallness of my own dance... and finally asked life to show me more.  

At first this new dance was jerky as I relinquished the “lead” and then reached to grab it back again and again.  Gradually, over time, I discovered that “life” actually knew what it was doing.  I’ll always remember the first time I looked backwards and witnessed the absolute perfection in life’s dance moves, even if at the time I couldn’t see the beauty.  I started to relax.  “Hey,” I said “maybe this partner of mine, life, can be trusted, knows what it’s doing... has even a better path to travel than my own little mind could plan.”

Now, I’m 57, and still exploring this dance with life.  I’m still figuring out how to be an active partner without gripping life mercilessly.  

It is a dance.  

And we must ask ourselves, “with whom am I dancing?”  If we do not have a belief (or knowing) of an intelligent consciousness outside of ourselves, this whole metaphor of a dance is mute.  If we don’t have a “knowing” of the existence of “God,” “nature,” “the universe” “creative Intelligence”... whatever word works for you, then there is no one to dance with.

This year, 2020, has introduced a dance partner that is way more active and erratic than before.  It has Introduced a shit ton of uncertainty into the dance as a whole (for likely most everyone). If before we felt like we had control, we likely don’t feel that much this year.  At times I’ve even felt like I’ve left the dance floor and am seated in a roller coaster ride instead. 

So, what to do?  

How do I dance with life?  

With my recent move to 10 acres of jungle in Hawaii, my dance has undeniably changed.  I wake and look around at walls of lush green jungle and at times don’t know what to do.  Part of me wants to rush ahead and accomplish something, but deep inside, there is a growing quiet that offers me words like “rest for a while,” “move slowly,” “just pause.”  It’s actually humorous as the old programming is literally short circuited by the new surroundings.  I’ve been invited into a completely different dance.  One that I have not done before.  I’m a novice at this, and it’s going to take me a while to learn this new rhythm.    

I’m suspecting I’m not the only person out there that has been invited into a new dance with life this year. 

The best partner dancing involves the perfect balance of leading and following, of trusting and flow.   That’s what my jungle is asking of me.   What is your life asking of you?    

“How shall we dance, life?”