The Ones You Can't Forget
Random collection of familiar souls I met on the Camino Portuguese this Fall
My partner’s name is Mike. I met Mike several years ago while online dating. I was still living in Minnesota at the time and recently separated (for about a year). He sent me a message and I responded without too much internal debate. I met him for a drink a few days later (interestingly he suggested the same bar/restaurant I had gone a week earlier on what turned out to be a “flop” online date).
We met, we chatted. Truly I don’t remember too much of our conversation… I remember thinking he was a bit quirky and kinda cute. I remember about an hour into it having the thought “this won’t work.” Then a couple hours later when he asked me if I’d like to go out again… I said “Sure, I’m curious.”
He walked me to the car and leaned in to give me a peck on the cheek. My opinion on chemistry is "what good is a peck on the cheek?" So I turned my head and we kissed. For the second time in my life, I came face to face with the reality of a past life. (Perhaps I'll share the first time... next time) Mind you, I still had skepticism about past lives at this point. I have a pretty healthy inner skeptic. I need to experience something before I can fully incorporate it into my world landscape.
When my lips touched his, every thought in my brain left and the only thing left was a body knowing “I know these lips” and “I don’t want his lips to stop touching mine.” It wasn’t some crazy “groping," “hot-and-bothered" kiss. It was a simple kiss that I couldn’t bring myself to end. Every time I tried to back away, I couldn’t. My body simply wouldn’t let me.
Yes, well I stood there kissing him for quite some time… in the middle of the sidewalk… completely unaware of my surroundings. Eventually I literally jumped back and blurted out urgently “I’m leaving NOW!” I half waved good bye as I ran and jumped in my car. Once alone in my car I blurted out “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?”
Well, I don’t really have a concrete answer for that. Suffice to say, the whole kiss did catch my attention. And when subsequently I tried to rationalize why I didn’t want to go out with him again after the second date, my friend Kathy only had to remind me of that first kiss and I realized it was "chicken shit" to run away.
Now, when I meet someone and they feel “familiar,” I don’t negate it or rationalize it away. When someone says “I feel like I know you” right after we meet I often get a sly smile on my face. Yes, I’ve known Mike before. Yes, I’ve known my ex-husband before too and my children. Often I’ve know some of my students before. It doesn’t matter when or where. Or even if it is true. What I do know is we’ve agreed to help each other out because we love each other deeply. We’ve agreed to struggle together in relationship … so we can grow. The deep love that is there makes the stakes higher, so it’s more motivating ;)
I’m not looking to convince you of past lives. Truly that doesn’t matter. Instead, to awaken you to the deep love and connection that exists between you and some of the others in your life and in your past.
The ones you can’t forget.
They came to help you... and you came to help them. Sometimes the assistance was very painful. But it was all done for love.
The past that hurt the most, was an act of love. The present hearts that fill us, may be an act of love… across the ages.
